Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
