break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
