my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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