You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
