I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
