is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
