He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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