This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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