So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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