Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
