Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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