he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
