you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
