never play flip cup with pint glasses
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
