i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
