Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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