help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
