just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
