I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
