paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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