I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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