i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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