And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
either way he was missing a nipple.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
