Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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