I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
