dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
