I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
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It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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