the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
