i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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