You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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