kristin has been a bad kristin
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
