yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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