Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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