I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
