My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
