your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
