im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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