i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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