So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
