she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
