Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
