bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
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