You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
