well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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