It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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