We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
