I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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