took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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