it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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