Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
