This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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