New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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