I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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