Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
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he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
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She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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