I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
