I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
