either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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