bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
