I just threw up on my dentist
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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