I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
