I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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