new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
