whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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