My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
