There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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