I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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