Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
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I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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