And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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