so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
